4 basic ways to deal with emotions

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Humans are emotional beings and the lack of emotional intelligence is not a good sign. Emotional intelligence skills are needed to those who want to achieve success in their life. To understand the concept of emotional intelligence, you should understand where do emotions come from? what are their purpose? how to deal with emotions?


There are 4 basic ways human beings deal with emotions:

1. Denial of the emotions

They try not to feel anything when experiencing emotions they don’t like. But this is dangerous for example a person fears rejection very much. Hence, for this person to succeed in avoiding rejection, he’ll have to cut all connection and relationships with people. This would mean avoiding love, building intimacy and close connection with others. Over a long period the denial of this negative emotion will only result in living a life that is lonely and meaningless.

2. Endurance of emotions

Such people will outwardly say to themselves and to others “I don’t feel so bad” but yet they feel the emotion internally. They try to dissociate from this emotion yet they can never really change their internal focus, internal talk or physiology. This will cause them to contradict themselves causing emotional confusions. 

3. Use emotions as competition 

This set of people tend to show how bad they’re feeling. “I’ll show you terrible!”, “I’ll show you what miserable really means!”. Comparing and make a match as to how bad they feel or that someone else cannot be worse off than them.

4. Learn  and utilise emotions

This is the best way to deal with emotions. We have to carefully study our own emotions, what our feelings are and what it trying to tell us. Then, these emotions should be utilised for our common benefits in a positive way. This soft skill is one of the most overlooked skills in any corporate training courses, especially in Malaysia. 

Emotions don’t attack us like a virus that we catch from somebody. Just because someone we love touch us, we immediately feel love, intimacy, connection. Is it that someone controlling our emotions? NO. Our own body create sensations of love and we change our physiology correspondingly. It is the meaning we attach to that touch that makes us feel a certain way – the meaning we give to an event or experience happening to us.

For example a man opens a door for a lady who then gets upset. For the man, he is just doing it as a form of respect or appreciation or his way of showing care and concern. But for her, she could misconstrue the man is chauvinistic trying to dominate her. It is her representation of that particular event or situation that gives rise to her emotion.


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Written by RACHEL KHOR 

Principal Trainer, Peak Success Abundance Sdn Bhd

From Directive Communication International & American Institute of Business Psychology:

– Certification in Colored Brain Communication
– Certification in Human Drive & Motivation
– Certification in Dynamic Speaking
– Certification in Curriculum Development
– PSMB Certified Trainer
– Certification in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)
– Certification in Hypnotherapy from London College of Clinical Hypnosis (LCCH)
– 18 years corporate training experience

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Good explanation regarding emotional intelligence. Looking forward for more good articles.

    1. Thank you for your attentive support. We will continue to provide great content to all. This is peak success abundance’s policy.

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