“Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships.”
– Drs. Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, Emotional Intelligence 2.0
What We Need To Know
When first revealed, emotional intelligence served as the missing piece in a peculiar finding: people with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70% of the time. This unexpected finding threw a lot of people off balance as they had always assumed that IQ was the only source of success. After decades of research it is now a known fact that emotional intelligence is the most decisive and critical factor that separates star performers from the rest of the group.
Emotional intelligence is the intangible “something” that affects how we manage behavior, steers us through social complexities and allows us to make personal decisions that achieve positive results.
Emotional Intelligence And IQ
Emotional intelligence taps into a fundamental element of human behavior that is distinct from your intellect. There is no known connection between IQ and emotional intelligence; you are unable to predict emotional intelligence based on how smart someone is. Intelligence is your ability to learn, and it’s the same at age 15 as it is at age 50.
On the other hand, you can attain, develop and practice emotional intelligence through a flexible set of skills. Even if you are not born with high emotional intelligence, you can always develop it. However there are some who are naturally gifted with high emotional intelligence.
High Performance is Linked to Emotional Intelligence
A lot of research and surveys have been done to discover the link between performance and emotional intelligence. And it has been found that emotional intelligence has a tremendous impact on professional success. So it is a very powerful way to redirect your energy in one direction with an immense outcome. TalentSmart tested emotional intelligence alongside 33 other important workplace skills, and found that emotional intelligence is the strongest predictor of performance, explaining a full 58% of success in all types of jobs.
Your emotional intelligence is the foundation for many critical skills we use in our daily activities. TalentSmart’s survey found that 90% of top performers are also high in emotional intelligence. It’s a slim chance to have a top performer without emotional intelligence. People with a high degree of emotional intelligence also make earn more per year than people with a low degree of emotional intelligence. It is almost impossible to find a job in which performance and pay aren’t tied closely to emotional intelligence.
Developing Emotional Intelligence
The physical source of emotional intelligence is the communication between your emotional and rational “brains”. The pathway for emotional intelligence starts in the brain, at the spinal cord. Your primary senses enter here and must travel to the front of your brain before you can think rationally about your experience. However, first they travel through the limbic system, the place where emotions are generated. So, we have an emotional reaction to events before our rational mind is able to engage. Emotional intelligence requires effective communication between the rational and emotional centers of the brain.
“Plasticity” is the term neurologists use to describe the brain’s ability to change. As you learn and practice new skills, your brain grows new connections. The change is gradual, as your brain cells develop new connections to speed the efficiency of new skills acquired.
Using strategies to increase your emotional intelligence allows the billions of microscopic neurons lining the road between the rational and emotional centers of your brain to branch off small “arms” (much like a tree) to reach out to the other cells. A single cell can grow 15,000 connections with its neighbors. This chain reaction of growth ensures it’s easier to kick this new behavior into action in the future. Once you train your brain by repeatedly using new emotional intelligence strategies, emotionally intelligent behaviors become habits.
Five major categories of emotional intelligence skills are recognized by researchers in this area.
Understanding the Five Main Categories of Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
This focus more on you individually than on your interactions with other people. It is your ability to stay aware of your emotions and manage your behavior and tendencies, to accurately perceive your emotions and stay aware of them as they happen The ability to recognize an emotion as it “happens” is the key to your EQ. Be constantly aware of know relationship between thoughts, feelings and actions as well as the relationship between the three. Developing self-awareness requires tuning in to your true feelings. If you evaluate your emotions, you can manage them. The major elements of self-awareness are:
• Emotional Awareness
The ability to recognize your own feelings and their effects so as to be able to manage them and make better decisions. Set aside some days to consider why you are feeling a certain emotion. How can you better manage your feelings. Develop insight and the ability to identify emotional patterns.
You are very comfortable with who you are as a person. You are sure about your self-worth and capabilities. You have a purpose, a direction and know exactly what you want to achieve in your life. You are continuously acquiring new skills and knowledge so that you grow as an individual and can be an inspiration to others
There are 3 categories of human behaviour – aggressive, passive & assertive. Learn to respond to others without anger or without giving in to irrational & illogical demands. Learn to say NO & to stand up to the bullying tactics of others without anger or self pity.
• Personal Responsibility/ Conscientiousness
You take responsibility for the consequences of your own actions and taking responsibility for your own performance. You do not lay blame on others for whatever decisions or choices you have made. If you realize you have made a mistake/s, you learn from your mistake/s and move on. You do not get stuck in the past or look behind. You do not justifying poor or non performance. You readily admit that you are not at your best & strive to do better.
• Self Disclosure and Transparency
The best way to build closer relationships is to share with others how you feel, your dreams and aspirations, about yourself. Be honest and open about yourself so that others will also be open towards you.
• Self Acceptance
Profile yourself , your personality and working style. Maximize your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. If you cannot eliminate your weaknesses, just focus on your strengths. Use your strengths to achieve your goals and forge ahead. If you can learn to minimize or eliminate your weaknesses. Ensure your weaknesses are not stumbling blocks to achieving your goals and mission in life.
2. SELF REGULATION & SELF MANAGEMENT
This is your ability to use awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and positively direct your behavior. However often you have little control over when you experience emotions. You can, however, have some say in how long an emotion will last by using a number of techniques to alleviate negative emotions such as anger, anxiety or depression. A few of these techniques include recasting a situation in a more positive light, taking a long walk and meditation or prayer. Self-regulation involves:
• Emotional Self Control
Managing disruptive impulses
Value Trust & openness. Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity
The ability to react quickly, appropriately and efficiently to change
• Reality Testing
The ability to assess correspondence between what is experienced and what objectively exists; knowing what you want to do vs. what you actually can do
The ability to adjust one’s emotions, thoughts and behaviors to changing situations and conditions
• Problem Solving
The ability to identify and define problems; to generate and implement potentially effective solutions
Being open to new ideas
• Personal Decision Making
Understand that you are in control of your mind and hence your life. You always have a choice. No one can really force you to do something against your wish even at subconscious mind level. Understand how your thoughts and feelings are ruling the decision/s you are making or have made
• Handling Stress
Learn stress relaxing methods and techniques. Listen to Baroque music, go for walks in the park or by the seaside, have a picnic at the waterfall. Learn to sing and dance. Take up yoga or tai chi or qigong. Have quiet moments at the end of each day for inner reflections
3. SELF MOTIVATION
Be positive even when challenged will result in more focused thinking.
When you are feeling down and out, you are able to able to take charge of your negative state and emotions. Two ways to achieve this: change your physiology or change your inner representation or perception of life so that you can achieve peak performance again. To motivate yourself for any achievement requires clear goals and a positive attitude. We have two selves in us – positive and negative. We tend to gravitate towards the negative self. Learn to ‘catch’ yourself having negative thoughts or using negative words/ language or having negative messages. If you catch negative thoughts as they occur, you can reframe them in more positive terms – which will help you achieve your goals. Motivation is made up of:
• Achievement Drive
Your constant striving to improve or to meet a standard of excellence.
Aligning with the goals of the group or organization.
Readying yourself to act on opportunities.
• Optimism and Hope
Pursuing goals persistently despite obstacles and setbacks.
4. SOCIAL AWARENESS
This is your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on. This comprises the following:
The ability to understand the feelings of others. This is also the ability to enable us to respond appropriately to changes in emotional climate of others. Be able to put yourself in the shoes of others and learn to appreciate their feelings. Everyone has their own perception of things and life. Learn to see from another viewpoint. Your ability to read the signals others send and perceive the feelings behind them will ensure you are able to respond appropriately and control the situation. An empathetic person excels at:
• Service orientation. Anticipating, recognizing and meeting clients’ needs
• Developing others. Observing what others need to progress and bolstering their abilities
• Leveraging diversity. Creating opportunities through diverse people
• Organizational and political awareness. Reading a group’s emotional currents and power relationships
• Understanding others. Sensing and detecting the feelings behind the needs and wants of others
• Social Responsibility
5. RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT AND SOCIAL SKILLS
Social competence is your ability to understand other people’s moods, behavior and motives in order to improve the quality of your relationships. It is also your ability to use awareness of your emotions and the others’ emotions to manage interactions successfully. The ability to establish and maintain mutually beneficial relationships by giving and receiving of affection whether it be as a lover, friend, family member/ loyal employee. In today’s always-connected world, everyone has immediate access to technical knowledge. Thus, “people or interpersonal skills” are even more important now because no man is an island. In our daily lives we are communicating, interacting and relating to people all around us. Lean to live, work and interact harmoniously with others. Learn to give and take. Learn to make win/win decisions with others
Among the most useful skills are:
Applying effective persuasion tactics
Sending clear , precise messages. It is not only about the words you use but also the tone of voice used & non verbal language. Often it is not what you say but HOW you say it. You communicate your feelings through body language – learn to talk and listen about feelings of others. Communication is not hearing the words said or understanding and hearing what was said, it is also about validating the feelings of others
Motivating, inspiring and guiding teams and people
• Change Catalyst
Initiating or managing change
• Conflict Management
Understanding, negotiating and resolving disagreements
• Building Bonds
Nurturing instrumental relationships
• Collaboration And Cooperation
Working effectively with others toward shared objectives and outcomes
• Team Work, Team Capabilities And Group Dynamics
Developing group synergy in attaining group goals. Know when to lead and when to follow. Ten heads are better than one. When a cohesive team is formed with a united vision or goal, miracles can happen! Learn to share knowledge, information and expertise. Capitalize on the strengths of each team member
FOR MORE DETAILS PLS CONTACT US AT
Email: [email protected]/[email protected]
YouTube: Rachel Khor
Principal Trainer, Peak Success Abundance Sdn Bhd
From Directive Communication International & American Institute of Business Psychology:
– Certification in Colored Brain Communication
– Certification in Human Drive & Motivation
– Certification in Dynamic Speaking
– Certification in Curriculum Development
– PSMB Certified Trainer
– Certification in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)
– Certification in Hypnotherapy from London College of Clinical
– 18 years corporate training experience